The CDC on my doorstep in biosuits?

My 17 year old just wrote a WHOPPER of an essay for his junior college English class. Should I let him hand this in tomorrow morning? It's THIS kind of writing that forced me into yanking him out of school and homeschooling him! :-0

Should I make him go back upstairs and write an essay on how to assemble a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? Only my kid would write a process essay on something that could land the CDC on my doorstep :-( This reminds me of that kid who tried to build a nuclear generator in his backyard :-(

Should I write the teacher a note, reasurring him that we do NOT have infected chickens in our garage? I tend to just laugh at my kid, but well...most teachers get pretty freaked out by him :-0 They say "it's the details" :-0 This is his first year I let him back out in public. So far...it's gone pretty well...but here's the first real test :-0

 

English Comp I

Erik Walker

Process Essay

3/4/06

 

In response to the threat of bird flu, many countries have been killing massive amounts of chickens. It is possible that in several months time you will not be able to buy any chicken products; however all disasters bring opportunity. A great fortune could be made if someone managed to breed chickens immune to the bird flu.

 

Getting started would only cost a few thousand dollars. The first thing you need is an airtight enclosure, equipped with an air filtration system that would prevent the virus from escaping. A promising air filtration system is being developed by Fancom and IMV Inc. in an effort to stop the spread of the PRRS virus in pigs. The system is simple enough to be made by anyone with basic mechanical skills, it consists of three filters and a fan between the second and third filter, the first filter is similar to a porch screen, the second is a bag filter, the third is a High Efficiency Particulate Air (HEPA) filter, which blocks particles as small as 0.3 microns in size. And to protect your self you would need a Biohazard suit (available at www.approvedgasmasks.com) and a decontamination shower (available at www.interstateproducts.com). The next thing you would need is chickens, the greater the variety the better. And the final piece is the virus; the only way to get it would be to go somewhere that has the virus and obtain an infected chicken. Taking the chicken back with you is difficult due to the transporting ban on chickens from infected countries; so remove the chickens bones so that it can go through X-ray undetected, then pack it in an airtight cooler and spray it down with something to cover the smell in case they have dogs checking the packages.

            

        Now that all of your equipment and supplies are gathered, all you have to do is throw the infected chicken corpse in with the healthy chickens. Add more chickens as their numbers drop. Keep track of how effective the virus is against which breeds, and replace with strongest breeds as the others die out. It may take a long time, but eventually you will be left with chickens immune to the bird flu. At this point you can sell the eggs yourself for about $100 bucks a dozen, or sell the chickens to some big company for millions.

 

www.approvedgasmasks.com

www.interstateproducts.com/decontamination_shower.htm

http://nationalhogfarmer.com/mag/farming_battling_prrs_virus /

I don't mean to be glib, KatDoe, but I got a kick out of it.  Especially the part about taking the bones out so it will pass through x-ray! 

He DOES make me laugh! It's just that people have been getting so freaked out at him since he was in diapers :-( He just has a really odd sense of humor and is intelligent enough to know how to freak people out :-0

Thank God his professor is male! Males tend to tolerate him better than females, in general :-0

Some of his all time past horror papers were a poem titled "A prison called school", an essay on "Michelangelo the Pervert" and "The Positive Points of Communism". All those did was get him labeled "Emotionally disturbed. This one...well...I'm just a little worried. I think college is WAY more tolerant than public school though?????

You have one too!

My five year old son had a long discussion with me about time being like a spring. That our life was going on simultaniously with other lives and sometimes, just as the wires in a spring touch, we see glimpses--hence deja vu.

He is also the kid who walked the halls of his high school with hollowed out loaves of bread on his arms. He told his teacher he couldn't write because he had a terrible yeast infection.

He has grown up and now tells me college is for people who want to do something but don't know what it is. Instead he is trying everything he wants to do to see if something sticks.

LOL...LOL...LOL.... the "loaves of bread on his arm and couldn't write due to a terrible yeast infection..."LOL...LOL...LOL

Kat! You have one great thinking kid!...now just don't let him build this in your backyard!

Meewee

Awesome!  Better not let my 16 year old see this or he'll be claiming it for his own and it will be in his English class on Monday!

That's great! Reminds me of the kind of thing I was doing in 7th grade.

Number of flaws in the workability of the project, but I won't be the one to poke holes in the kid's idea.

Good work! You're raising a thinker there!  I love the fact that the kid took a problem, and saw an opportunity!

KatDoe ... by the way..you sound like a GREAT mom , your son is so very lucky your HIS MOM. Just wanted to tell you that, not that you didn't know that already!

Just because you Can doesnt' mean you SHOULD>>>..that is so wise.

I remember saying those things to my kids too so it really makes me smile to hear them from someone else. Kind of reinforces that "us" moms know something, though it maybe to the amazement of our kids..lol