A Matter of Respect

It seems that most of us here feel genuine concern for others, and a powerful need to tell others about the danger we percieve.  The problem lies in how to do that in a responsible way.  Sometimes, I just want to scare the crap out of people in a desperate attempt to get their attention.  At other times, I recognize my responsibility to inform without deforming the truth as we are able to discern it.

It seems to me that the answer lies in the often mis-used term ‘respect’.  Carl Rogers, who was a kind of guru of interpersonal communications in the 70’s, defined respect as having a positive regard for the others ability to hear, and to respond.  In Roger’s terms, we are all responsible, that is ‘response-able’, able to respond to truth when we hear it.  In that sense, it’s disrespectful to remain silent because we don’t think anyone will care what we say.  In that case, we are assuming responsibility for them!

There are two important implications of Roger’s concept of respect:

1)      – We are not responsible (able to respond) unless we know the truth, and

2)       - We are responsible when we have been told the truth.

It seems to me, therefore, that all we can do ( and it really is a lot) is to relay what we know to be true, without speculation, implication, or exaggeration, and allow the other to respond according to their own ability to hear the truth.  They are, after all, responsible for their own behavior.