"Frumpy Doomsayers" -Thats us!

US Orders Biohazard Suits For American Travelers Saturday, July. 13, 2003; 12:16 a.m. EDT WASHINGTON D.C.-- Fueled by the recent SARS virus infections in China and Taiwan, President Bush today issued an executive order for all American travelers to wear plastic biohazard suits for protection against SARS when visiting far eastern countries such as China and Taiwan. The Office of Homeland Security directed by former Gov. Tom Ridge consulted with Bush for a request to open another office called The Office of Bodily Security, also to be headed by Ridge. The first action by the new office will be to direct the manufacturing and purchase of 100,000 biological hazard suits to be distributed to every traveling citizen who visits China, Tiawan, Malaysia, and Indonesia. Tom Ridge said in a news conference, "Tonight can know that while the threat of this terrorist SARS virus is ongoing, we are taking every possible step to protect our citizens from danger." With the order by Bush, and the Bill passing Congress, the wearing of these suits will become law.

Starting in two weeks, every United States citizen who travels to certain foreign countries will be issued a biohazard suit that must be worn at all times. All bipartisan members of Congress agreed to comply with Bush's request by passing a Bill of Public Viral Anti-Terrorism. This bill includes an outline for the distribution and requirement for traveling Americans to wear a biological suit at their hotels, airports, public areas, and especially while visiting foreign churches. The Bill outlines that any American who refuses to wear a suit will either be heavily prosecuted or shot. The ACLU, and many citizens expressed shock and concern over this new order. Tom Ridge and biohazard officials assured those concerned that these suits are only for the protection and safety of our citizens and that these suits will be eventually be met with public approval once they realize how practical and stylish these suits really are. "These suits have been specially designed to appeal to the comfort, and style of the American public. I anticipate the popularity of these suits and we think that our citizens will want to wear them as soon as possible," Tom Ridge said at a Washington press conference today. A reporter asked Ridge if the President and Congress will wear these suits. He responded, "We have been inoculated against all biological agents so we won't need them. However, to comply with the law we will wear special